The nation has fallen into the second Great Depression
(It's like the Grapes of Wrath without Henry Fonda)
Food prices have risen across the board - A Big Mac is, like, $5.95 now!
Bristol Palin got knocked-up
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince got pushed back to Summer 09
Arlen Specter pulled a Judas on the GOP
Pirates made a comeback
Kentucky Fried Chicken has become Kentucky Grilled Chicken
"Great, a bucket of wet poultry. This crap looks like brains!"
Seven Pounds
Sexting
(it's exactly how it sounds)
Lawrence Kutner Died
There have been like a million bailouts and we're pretty sure some bombings too.
The damn $5 Foot-Long jingle won't die.
New Facebook has added too many pointless applications
Well don't worry world. This is a relief effort. We're back to save the day, shaking up the banality of your daily lives. You're welcome! Now, let the frenzy begin.
Sincerely,
the editors
