with Eddie, president of Joshua Jackson Fan Club of Alpus, NY
Many of us in the fan club have seen fit to chastise this poor girl because she has supposedly "tainted" the pure flesh of Joshua Jackson. I would like to step out and say this is not indicative of the Joshua Jackson Fan Club nor its supporters, Roe-Jan Auto of Copake, NY; Marge's Homemade T-Shirt Designs of Charlotte, NC; Samantha Smurgle's Crappy Homemade Macaroni Art of Pittsburgh, PA or Serena Glubbs Pastries and More in various locations throughout Ohio.
These fine sponsors in no way support the following actions to be taken to Katie Holmes:
both femur bones broken with a cricket bat
stool softener put into her mocha lattes
hiring a Joshua Jackson look-a-like to deceive her that Joshua Jackson is taking her back and then leave her standing at the altar where another group of paid supporters will stand up and laugh at her
informing Tom Cruise that she has leaked top secret Scientologist secrets to the press
gang raping her and then not calling her in the morning
We, at the Joshua Jackson Fan Club, do not support any of these tactics. We would not even provide funding for these, although it would be possible to provide funding in Iran under the suspicion of infedelity.
In fact, we hope the sorry slut has a happy fucking life.
