RECIPE OF THE MONTH CLUB

Welcome again to ERGO Magazine’s Recipe of the Month Club where we invite a very special guest to come share one of their favorite dishes. This month: Jason Voorhees, zombie mass murderer, will explain to us the intricacies of a Crystal Lake Cabbage Fruit Salad.

Ugh, eeck! Pardon me; I was choking on my own tongue. I sort of do that, it’s sort of become my thing. Mother use to always give me fruit - we were poor and it was about one of the cheapest and easiest things you could get. She didn’t really spend a lot of time at home, so this was something I didn’t have to prepare or anything. When I went off to camp this kid told me fruit was good in salad. I like cabbage so I thought why not. Here’s a little recipe I came up with.

INGREDIENTS: (Serves Eight)

• 1 cabbage
• 2 oranges,
• 2 red apples, CHOPPED!
  
• 1 cup seedless red grape halves
• 1/4 cup currants
• 1/2 cup fat-free mayonnaise
• 1/4 cup skim milk
• 1 tablespoon lemon juice
• 1 tablespoon sugar
• 1/3 cup chopped pecans, toasted

When I need stuff to make a fruit salad I usually scavenge the forest, rummage through the camp’s canteen or raid the fridge of my next victim. They’re usually too busy doing it to even see me standing there, slurping down a tube of go-gurt. I like to really mix it up with whatever I can find. I sometimes mix fresh and canned fruits which gives the salad lots of extra juice.

• Peel the oranges, and then CHOP ‘EM! Take the cabbage, oranges, apples, grapes and currants, and then CHOP ‘EM! Place the dismembered pieces in a large bowl, cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate.

My favorite part is the chopping. There really is no wrong way to do it.

• In a small bowl, combine the mayonnaise, milk, lemon juice and sugar, and then CHOP ‘EM!

You can also stir it, whatever, but don’t be afraid to CHOP!

• Just before serving, pour dressing and pecans into salad.

Make sure the salad has been properly CHOPPED! You wouldn’t want to choke. This recipe makes eight servings. If there’s more than enough, keep the salad in the refrigerator covered with clear plastic wrap. This salad should be eaten within 1 day, some of the ingredients will get mushy and brown over time, like rotting corpses. You can serve this salad as is or dress it with a whipped topping, I’d recommend go-gurt.

Come see us next month for another delicious dish from another celebrity guest star, only at ERGO Magazine’s Recipe of the Month Club.