Stair Safety with Satan
Tumbling down a flight of stairs is the worst thing that can ever happen to you, but there are ways to prevent this and even come out on top. I have a no-nonsense guide to living that not only helps you on the stairs, but gives you valuable tools for daily living. Let's face it: you don't want to tumble downward your entire life. It's terrible. Trust me. Take some gumption and get the gears grinding. It's simple. All you have to do is follow this four-step plan and you'll be flying instead of falling, biking instead of burning.
Ready for this? Let's roll!
The most common stair safety sin is stupidity. I see it all the time. The naiveté of people is what gets them into this mess in the first place. They'll believe anything if someone tells them. Do you have kids? Do you trust them? Bad idea. Don't believe them when they tell you they've cleared their toys from the stairs. They were probably doing something horrible instead. It's usually best to assume the worst in people. You think they're basically good? I beg to differ. Keep yourself open to all possibilities.
Cutting children a break teaches them nothing and it brings you no satisfaction whatsoever. If they "forget" to pick their things up, you shouldn't let them off the hook. Does your boss let you "off the hook" when you forget to do something at work in the real world? NO! Kids aren't any different. Even if they didn't leave their stuff on the stairs, beat them mercilessly. If they don't understand your constant scolding, they'll certainly understand the taste of their own blood.
Going along with stupidity is pretentiousness. Some people assume the world is always going to go their way. They can do anything they feel like and nothing is going to harm them. There are actually ways to make this happen. If you're interested, we can speak later.
Nonetheless, if you're pretentious, then you're just asking for a fall. Pay attention. Those stairs are tricky. Some people have been known to place things there on purpose just so you might slip and most people who haven't done it really want to. This is just a law of the land. Everyone's against you and it's time to do something about it. After all, you don't deserve this kind of treatment and it's time that those smarmy weasels get a taste of their own medicine.
Tumbling down a flight of stairs is the worst thing that can ever happen to you, but there are ways to prevent this and even come out on top. I have a no-nonsense guide to living that not only helps you on the stairs, but gives you valuable tools for daily living. Let's face it: you don't want to tumble downward your entire life. It's terrible. Trust me. Take some gumption and get the gears grinding. It's simple. All you have to do is follow this four-step plan and you'll be flying instead of falling, biking instead of burning.
Ready for this? Let's roll!
The most common stair safety sin is stupidity. I see it all the time. The naiveté of people is what gets them into this mess in the first place. They'll believe anything if someone tells them. Do you have kids? Do you trust them? Bad idea. Don't believe them when they tell you they've cleared their toys from the stairs. They were probably doing something horrible instead. It's usually best to assume the worst in people. You think they're basically good? I beg to differ. Keep yourself open to all possibilities.
Cutting children a break teaches them nothing and it brings you no satisfaction whatsoever. If they "forget" to pick their things up, you shouldn't let them off the hook. Does your boss let you "off the hook" when you forget to do something at work in the real world? NO! Kids aren't any different. Even if they didn't leave their stuff on the stairs, beat them mercilessly. If they don't understand your constant scolding, they'll certainly understand the taste of their own blood.
Going along with stupidity is pretentiousness. Some people assume the world is always going to go their way. They can do anything they feel like and nothing is going to harm them. There are actually ways to make this happen. If you're interested, we can speak later.
Nonetheless, if you're pretentious, then you're just asking for a fall. Pay attention. Those stairs are tricky. Some people have been known to place things there on purpose just so you might slip and most people who haven't done it really want to. This is just a law of the land. Everyone's against you and it's time to do something about it. After all, you don't deserve this kind of treatment and it's time that those smarmy weasels get a taste of their own medicine.
A common denominator amongst many of the fallen is a lack of perspective. Many of these idiots (not you, but the rest of them) have no idea what is going on around them and this makes them perfect candidates to be pushed down the stairs. If it wasn't them, it'd be you. (You know it would.) Plus, there's a cathartic release as you watch that face (with its smarmy grin greased across it) smash against each individual stair until the body lies in a broken, bloody mess on the floor below. It's not malicious. It's justice.
Finally, let me say something about trying to carpet your stairs or place bumpers on them. It won't make your stairs any safer. If anything, it has the potentiality to make the fall more painful. Imagine falling down the stairs and hitting those bumpers as you tumble downward or getting carpet burn as your body scrapes against them. Now imagine it happening to someone else.
Finally, let me say something about trying to carpet your stairs or place bumpers on them. It won't make your stairs any safer. If anything, it has the potentiality to make the fall more painful. Imagine falling down the stairs and hitting those bumpers as you tumble downward or getting carpet burn as your body scrapes against them. Now imagine it happening to someone else.
So, anyway, it's great.
My advice is to avoid buying bumpers or carpeting for the stairs. This is an unnecessary purchase. After all, didn't your next door neighbor just buy some carpeting for his house? You know the spare key is in the pot next to the door, don't you? He doesn't have any kids, so why does he need it? I'm just saying, he doesn't deserve it. You do. (I'm serious.) You work hard, you put up with those brats of yours all day and what does he do? Nothing. It's your right.
But anyway, I don't like to preach. That's just my two cents on stair safety. Take it or leave it. I like to let people make up their own mind. It's always been my opinion that a little free will can go a long way.
Just remember: when it comes to stair safety, it's all about keeping yourself safe and happy. Other people? Who cares! After all, what have they ever done for you?
My advice is to avoid buying bumpers or carpeting for the stairs. This is an unnecessary purchase. After all, didn't your next door neighbor just buy some carpeting for his house? You know the spare key is in the pot next to the door, don't you? He doesn't have any kids, so why does he need it? I'm just saying, he doesn't deserve it. You do. (I'm serious.) You work hard, you put up with those brats of yours all day and what does he do? Nothing. It's your right.
But anyway, I don't like to preach. That's just my two cents on stair safety. Take it or leave it. I like to let people make up their own mind. It's always been my opinion that a little free will can go a long way.
Just remember: when it comes to stair safety, it's all about keeping yourself safe and happy. Other people? Who cares! After all, what have they ever done for you?
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