We at ERGO are fighting to overcome constant feelings of desertion. We can’t stand being alone. It’s like our parents didn't hug us enough or something. So whenever we find a film that that best exemplifies our fear of being forgotten, whenever there is a movie character getting shafted by people who claim to love them, we take notice. (NOTE: Films affiliated with Kirk Cameron or the Left Behind series will not appear on this list because we just don’t think they’re very good.)
Kevin McCallister - Not to be confused with the hunky Scottish soccer player of the same name, Kevin McCallister was the inventive man-child left behind by his family in Home Alone. It was a stand-out performance which empowered a generation under the age of 13. In a Hollywood celebration of the limitless potential of American youths, 8 year-old McCallister manages to shave, feed and clothe himself for days without adult supervision. He also succeeds in apprehending two cat-burglars with the help of a suspected pedophile and his giant snow shovel.
Shadow – Michael J. Fox seems like a pretty cool guy and Sally Field is a GILF, so when they lent their voices to Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey, a family film about cute animals trekking through the wilderness, it was pretty much guaranteed not to suck. After being left on a ranch by their family these crafty critters, led by a Golden Retriever named Shadow, set out to find them. The journey is dangerous. The pets nearly die, not only having to brave the elements but a mountain lion. Sassy, the cat almost drowns, Chance the dog gets served by a pissed-off porcupine and Shadow, who by the end of the movie is revealed to be sinking into senility, falls into a hole, really! The family had every intention of coming back for their pets, making the “wise” Shadow and his bold break completely useless. Stupid dog. So why is he one of the best characters to ever be left behind? He’s just so damn cute.
Wilson - Studio producers had a question, “Was Tom Hanks so charming that he could carry a movie by himself for 75 minutes?” The answer was, Kind of. Proving that most actors in Hollywood have the dramatic range of a deflated volleyball, Castaway’s Wilson (a deflated volleyball) was one of the best supporting characters of the decade. The film’s third act is marked by Wilson inadvertently drifting out to sea, leaving Chuck Noland (Hanks) alone and without the will to live, and leaving us to mourn the presumed death of an inanimate object. Have you seen this ball?
Toaster - Through the power of 2D animation Disney succeeded in making moviegoers feel sympathy for a toaster struggling with abandonment issues in The Brave Little Toaster. Deserted in a creepy summer cabin, a group of appliances decide to track down their owner, Rob. The journey is tumultuous, wrought with bickering, snobby “new-age” kitchen gadgets and murderous magnets. The toaster’s faith pays off but not until after he is forced to sacrifice his life, like Jesus. As reward for his devotion the toaster is resurrected by “The Master” days later. Toaster and his disciples (a radio, a vacuum, a lamp and an electric blanket = Matthew, Mark, Luke and John) are reunited with their owner as he heads off to college, the Kingdom of heaven.
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Jesus?
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