EDITOR'S NOTE

The Paradox of No

by Nick Hilbourn

There's something mysterious about No. In a certain usage, it can be considered rude, unkind. Refusing someone help is even illegal in some circumstances. Yet, No is also a necessity. We know, even if it is subconscious, that we need to hear No. Otherwise, how do we better ourselves? How do we understand our life's path if not for a few doors slamming in our faces?

Even more, a Yes Man is a pejorative term for someone. One who is willing to say No is considered brave, one with insight into the proper structure of things. So it seems there may be a fondness for No.

But society is quite equivocal in this manner. It knows it needs to hear No, it even goes so far as to praise the experience of hearing No, but it stops short of embracing the No. Advertising is based on saying Yes. Pop culture is founded on Yes. Maybe because the focus calls attention to all the positive attributes of Yes (voting rights for women, equal rights for minorities...) and downplays the negative attributes (high rates of teen pregnancy, drug abuse...).

It's quite difficult to be one who embraces the term No, even when it could be considered appropriate, without being considered a jerk. Verily, the No Man becomes a sacrificial lamb for the sake of societal balance. It is a hard job saying No, but some are up to the challenge. Some are not worried about losing popularity over No.

They know that saying No can actually be freeing. They are not forced to conform themselves to the capricious and conflicting desires of society, but carve out their own path using No as a sickle. They know that while saying No does not make one the most popular, society needs to hear it.

It's a poison to many of us, but it's also an elixir of necessity.