RECIPE OF THE MONTH CLUB

Welcome back to the Recipe of the Month Club. This month we welcome rock star and philanthropist Bono to give us the secret behind his Sunday Bloody Sundae!

Here's what you'll need:

• 1/2 pound semisweet chocolate, coarsely chopped
• 2 tablespoons sugar
• 1/4 cup whipping cream
• 1 tablespoon kirsch (cherry liqueur), optional
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 1 quart vanilla ice cream
• 2 cups pitted Bing cherries

Okay, Bono. Take it away.

Yes. Thank you. Just wanted to say this recipe makes about 8 servings. That's 8 more servings than any starving Zimbabwean child with an AIDS-infected mother will ever get by the way. Just thought you should know.

In a 1 1/2- to 2-quart pan over lowest heat, combine chocolate, sugar, cream, kirsch, and vanilla.

Look at all these ingredients. Quite a substantial amount of food we're throwing into a dessert you're probably only going to eat half of. In fact, I've got a whole bag of sugar we can use. Let's use about 1 cup and dump the rest down the drain. Sound good? While we're at it, let's dump all the food out. We can start with the rice and...well...I'll do the rice. YOU can toss the meat into the trash can. After all, we can just go buy some more.

Stir until smooth.

This is great. A nice full day of doing nothing but stirring this mixture until it's silky smooth. What luxury we live in! How blessed we are! Do you know what people in Africa are doing right about now? DYING OF AIDS.

Serve warm or hot; makes 1 cup.

1 cup. Interesting. That's probably less than what many African orphans are going to eat all day or maybe all week. Don't believe me? Look at this picture...oh, you don't want to see? What? Make you lose your appetite?

Scoop ice cream into bowls.

You know who would love to have a bowl full of food? A starving African child. I know PLENTY of them. Holding out their bowls, asking for food. You know that donation station you passed up outside the entrance to Wal-Mart? The older woman with the stubble and Irish accent? Well, THAT was ME. Under cover.
I'm everywhere and I'm watching YOU. Feel like making a donation now? How about buying the new U2 album? You know each time you refuse to give a donation it's like knocking the food bowl out of a small African child's hands.

Top with cherries and pour sauce over fruit.

You are a filthy, lazy, selfish, cruel, inhumane, ignorant HUMAN BEING and I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU. Have fun eating your precious ice cream sundae. It was paid for with the lives of starving children.

Thanks Bono. Join us next month for new (and hopefully, less depressing) Recipe of the Month! Chow!