REJECTED IDEAS

RECIPE OF THE MONTH CLUB
Noodles with Lucy Liu
(We asked her to do noodles because she's Asian. That's not racist, is it?)

HUMAN VS.
Nabokov
(We thought you pronounced his name NO-bo-kov. Big mistake. Glad we didn't do that one. Actually, I think he's a human. Can someone check on that?)

THE INFORMED OBSERVER
Big Brother Controls Your Nose, The Government Conspiracy Against Bad Smells
(Turns out Nabokov is not human. He's Russian.)

TREES: WTF?
(A new monthly feature!)

THE PEANUT BUTTER KID'S SCIENCE CORNER
NO: Mom's Favorite Word
(Can someone phone Lucy Liu and tell her we're really sorry?)

BIT LIT
NO! DAMMIT! F this GAME!
(Nabokov can eat a NO-sized dick.)